Cyber Safety for Families with Joanna and Jodie on 103.9FM The Fish Family Morning Show
Setting limits is hard to do in a hyper-connected world that can easily convince our youth that freedom is about having no limits, and wherein you can simply Google anything you think you need to know. In this way, the technology beckons us to surrender, to give our complete attention to the device. And when you consider that choosing where you give your attention is your power, attention management becomes a big deal for young and old alike.
A recent Mamapedia article by a psychotherapist describes how kids are seeking, desperately seeking guidance on setting limits and it is often manifest as anger and anti-social behavior. When the truth is that the tweens and teens are very eager to experience limits that are truly authentic, about teaching them to take command and control over the technology and manage their peer relationships to set healthy boundaries.
One of the things this psychotherapist observed that seems counter-intuitive to most parents, is that the youth welcomed that limit of turning devices off at a designated time. And the simple truth is that most people will honor limits or boundaries when they are communicated with Divine Love, which is not seeking to control you, but to educate you about how not to give up your power to circumstances and individuals that harbor risk. This requires putting down the device and thinking more deeply about setting boundaries that liberate you from the drama of the cyber-powered realm.
Parent Tip: Worrying is not the same thing as caring because it is the product of anxiety, a relative of fear. And there is no fear in Divine Love. Put your trust into the thoughts that come from the heart of God, who is love. (1John 4:18).
Tips to explain house rules as taking charge of your world
- Make a list of house rules you would like to have in place for your child that would make you feel better and less stressed.
- Now review your list of rules/boundaries. Identify for each rule that you wrote down the concern that it represents for you as the parent, the custodian of your child’s personal security, and the benefit to your child. An example would be to have the mobile phone surrendered at a designated time at night which is important to give your child a break from the drama and the stimulation of testing and posts, and the benefit to your child is better rest and promotes mental health (prevent anxiety).
- Then ask yourself: Were there any rules you evaluated that did not have a legitimate concern and benefit for your child? Were any of the rules primarily for you? Would you not honor this rule at this age? Why? If you can honestly answer yes, then perhaps you set this rule aside as something you are asking our child to do for you. Explain your concern. Be a little vulnerable. Give you child a chance to respond to your needs as well. And if your child objects to a rule, hear her out. Let her express her point of view. If you are really listening, you will learn something about your child and be able to work out a compromise that suits you both. All genuine needs can be met.
To learn more about setting age-appropriate limits for use of social media and texting, download this free ebook: Cyber Rites of Passage – How to Set Age-Appropriate Boundaries for Children Using Smart Devices.
Simple steps to build a family culture characterized by trust, open communication and individual resilience: Fresh Start.
ABOUT: Banana Moments Foundation is a non-profit education center founded in Roseville, CA to strengthen the parent-child bond in a hyper-connected world. The BMF mission is to restore families with the mustard seed of faith that declares liberty already belongs to the soul because one God grants every human being intelligence and free will and that is power that can never be taken, but is easily surrendered to the bully, the drug or the device. To that end, ten percent of all BMF proceeds are donated to prison ministries. Your Donations are greatly appreciated.
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and speaker on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber powered world. She is a mother of two grown sons, the author of The Authority In Me: The Power of Family Life in the Network Culture, produces The Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner column on Examiner.com, and is the CyberParenting advisor on The Fish 103.9FM. Her new book, A Google World in the Garden of Eden: Five Family-Safe Strategies for Texting and Social Media is now available for PC and all eReader formats including Kindle, Nook, iPad.
- Cyber safety for kids and families on TheFish103.9FM (videos)
- Follow Joanna @CyberParenting
- Like Banana Moments
- Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner
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- Email: Jullien@surewest.net
As the Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner, my personal mission is to educate and inspire parents from all walks of life and social settings to realize their inherent authority to govern the home and educate the child about their own power; the personal power that comes from the spiritual resilience of your chosen faith. And so I write for Examiner.com to express the passion of my mother heart to a diverse audience.