Last week Dr. Jessica Rodriguez, CEO of Gateway Corp in Sacramento and OnSite Strategies in Roseville, delivered a talk on the impact of shame and co-dependency in treating addiction as a family problem to counselors and therapists at Sierra Vista Hospital. Rodriguez offers extensive experience and expertise working with families suffering from addiction. “Addition is fueled by a family dynamic that is co-dependent, and involves shame, trauma and attachments issues,” she said. “Quality relationships will impact our capacity [to respond to loved ones experiencing addiction].”
The insights Rodriguez shared are valuable for parents who are raising youth in a network environment that can inspire anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and isolation. Through my personal experience as a mother of two grown sons, research and fieldwork, I have found that often parents are unaware of how deep the hurt is and the intensity of the pain young people carry in their “emotional backpacks.”
The pains of daily life for the modern teen who can be easily consumed by how many likes and followers she has, or whether he has proven himself as a sexual conqueror through explicit snaps and sexual exploits, cannot be measured or known; they can only be experienced and then destructively suppressed (by keeping secrets) or constructively expressed (by seeking wise counsel to heal). So it is no surprise to me that the U.S. Surgeon General reports that 1 in 10 children and adolescents in the United States suffer from serious emotional and mental disorders that cause significant functional impairment in their day-to-day lives at home, in school, and with peers (NAMI, 2016). The question for the modern parent is “Does your child feel safe talking to you about their shame-inspiring experiences?”
It is therefore helpful to be mindful of the co-dependent behaviors and characteristics that reinforce shame and create a family dynamic that is actually hostile (i.e., inspires shame and isolation) and can encourage addiction as an unhealthy response to life’s stresses. Below are some of the characteristics of co-dependency Rodriguez summed up as “the seven deadly habits”:
- Rewarding to control
As a mom with over 30 years of parenthood under my belt I can safely say I have been guilty of these behaviors from time to time. The main thing is to take an objective look at your parenting style and be honest about whether or not one or more of these habits is your primary strategy. While we are not expected to be perfect parents with perfect children, we can choose to strive to become better versions of ourselves and inspire our children of any age or circumstance to do the same.
To learn more about Dr. Jessica Rodriguez and her training, go to Gateway Corp and OnSite Strategies.
To learn more about creating a family culture that promotes open communication about very touchy subjects exposed via social media that can inspire shame, go to Fresh Start.
Social media etiquette for parents and teens
March 29, 2017, 6:30 pm to 8:00 pm
The recent military sexting scandal offers an object lesson for parents to educate youth about the kinds of explicit material they will experience and how to respond with dignity. You can view the military commander’s response to sexting scandal video here.
The sooner we educate ourselves and our youth about the empowering value of social media etiquette, the greater the opportunity to resist the temptation to pile on to sexual exploitation, addictions and bullying. To that end, Core Connectivity and South Placer Teen Center Present:
- When: Wed. March 29, 2017 6:30pm to 8pm
- Where: South Placer Teen Center, 3860 Oak St., Rocklin, CA 95677
- RSVP to: Joanna Jullien
- Learn more here.
2017 Spring Core Connectivity Symposium
Forgiveness – A Strategy for Strengthening Family Relations
Topics will include:
- “Simple steps to invoke forgiveness essential to strengthen the parent-child bond in a cyber-powered world” – by Joanna Jullien, CEO of Core Connectivity
- “Demonstrating the Power of Forgiveness and Restoration of the Family System” – by Dr. Jessica Rodriguez, CEO of OnSite Strategies
- “Forgiveness: The gateway to resiliency and healing” – by Pastor Clay Rojas, Parkside Church in Auburn, and founder of Prison Families
- Saturday, April 29, 2017, 8:30am sign in/9am to 1:30 pm
- $35.00 Lunch included/CEUs donated by OnSite Strategies
- Thank you to our venue Sponsor: Parkside Church in Auburn
- 3885 Richardson Dr, Auburn, CA 95602
LEARN MORE & REGISTER HERE
Inaugural Statewide Event
California Student Mental Wellness Conference
Promoting Student Mental Wellness &n Improving School Climate
- William Jessup University, 2121 University Avenue, Rocklin, CA 95765
- Monday, April 17, 2017 – 7:30am to 4:30pm
- $50 attendance fee – Learn more and register here.
About: We are a non-profit education center founded in Roseville, CA to strengthen the parent-child bond in a hyper-connected world. Our mission is to restore families with the mustard seed of faith that declares liberty already belongs to the soul because one God, the Creator of all humanity, grants every human being intelligence and free will to choose what to believe, and that is power that can never be taken, but is easily surrendered to the bully, the drug or the device. To that end, ten percent of all proceeds are donated to prison ministries. Your donations are greatly appreciated. (Donations are payable to Banana Moments Foundation).
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and consultant on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber-powered world. She is a former technology executive trained in behavioral science at U.C. Berkeley, a mother of two grown sons, and an author of books for practical guidance on parenting, growing up and family life in the network culture. As a family and technology culture advisor, Joanna has appeared on 103.9FM The Fish, 710AM Keeping Faith in America, 1380AM The Answer, and Examiner.com.