Welcome to 2020. The dawn of a new decade full of promise and challenges in this age of cyber-powered information.
It is easy to become overwhelmed by the trends impacting youth and families today. A recent headline in the New York Times features youth suicide on the rise. According to the CDC report on deaths in 2017, suicide was the second leading cause of death for age groups 10–24 (19.2% of deaths) and 25–44 (10.9%). I remember a childhood that did not involve having conversations about understanding why people die by suicide. And one of the first things that happened when my youngest started eighth grade (2005) was the tragic suicide of a classmate who left a note about his grades not being good enough. My son shared this thought that he picked up at school: perhaps parents should not put so much pressure on getting good grades. I remember having a very crucial conversation with my son about this event and the underlying motive – explaining that a person chooses to end their life because they lose hope for their future. I declared with confidence that it is not about grades, money or friendships; I explained that they do not see their current problems as temporary. And I asked him, “Do you really believe that his mother cared more about his grades than his life?”
What a concept to get across. Did it work? Was it a successful transmission?
This is the challenge many parents are struggling with today. “How do I help my child understand their inherent value is not tied to the things that they can earn in this world? Rather, their worth is priceless and cannot be measured in worldly terms.”
Since that crucial conversation in the fall of 2005, I have learned so much about the human condition as it pertains to the parent-child bond in a cyber powered world.
Check out this feature:
Core Connectivity Mission
Restore Parental Confidence, Inspire Resilience, and
Empower Families to Strengthen their Bond
In the media-centered network culture it is easy to believe things that are not true, and focus on things that do not really matter. This can curtail parental confidence and increase childhood anxiety and trauma. Help me get some basic tools and insights into the hands of parents so they can more effectively help their children establish their own internal guidance systems to be safe and secure and counter the cyber-powered stressors of growing up with mobile connectivity.
You can help this cause by:
- Making a donation to Banana Moments Foundation (non-profit parent of Core Connectivity)
- Sharing these links to the tips for setting personal boundaries and establishing cyber rites of passage.
Tips to regulate the use of technology as a family (PDF Handout)
WHERE I AM SPEAKING
- Date: Thurs. 01/16/20 11:30am to 1:00pm
- Event: The Role of a Parent in Healing a Suffering Child: Insights about love in response to anxiety and addiction as a family affair
- Venue and Meal Sponsor: Sierra Vista Hospital
- Speaker: Joanna Jullien
- Venue: Sacramento campus, community room
- Registration details: Must register to attend. Registration link
- Contact: Martin Guiterrez Jose.Gutierrez@uhsinc.com
- Date: Thurs. 01/16/20 6:30pm
- Event: Like – A documentary about how social media is affecting our lives (followed by panelists/Q & A)
- Co-Sponsors: REALConversations and Newport Academy
- Venue Sponsor: Studio Movie Grill in Rocklin
- Speaker: Panelists: Amy Rose of Recovery Happens and Joanna Jullien @Coreconnectivity
- Registration details: Must register to attend. Sold out.
- Contact: Shelby Swartz email@example.com and Jen Oliver Brown firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
WHERE YOU WILL FIND ME
- Date: Wed. 01/08/20 8:30am to 10:30am
- Event: Taking Back Your Power from Stress
- Speaker: Tzeli Triantafillou at Myndzen
- Location: CCAPP office, 2400 Marconi Avenue, Ste. B
Sacramento, CA, 95821
- Date: Thurs. 01/09/20 9:30am to 10:30am
- Event: Placer Mental Health Professionals Networking Group
- Location: Mimi’s Café in Roseville
- Date: Thurs. 01/23/20 3:30pm to 5:30pm
- Event: Coalition for Auburn and Lincoln Youth (CALY)
- Location: Auburn, CA
- How parents model resilience
- Five habits of anxiety-proof families in a cyber-powered world
- If food and body image are issues for your child, it is time to get educated
- Parent screentime
- Why your tween/teen needs you to be confident about their use of smartphones: What does that look like?
- How to countering the addiction epidemic: Responding to opioids and other risky drug trends with hope
- Crucial conversations about social media use: Brave versus risky
- Signs your child’s picky eating may become an eating disorder and what to do about it
- A mother’s lesson about exercising caution
- Why devices are not to blame for the lack of connection with your child
- Conquer the fear of losing your child to screentime
- The purpose of stress in your child’s life and their happiness
Crucial Conversation Concepts
Guidance for conversations with youth in a cyber-powered world, wherein it is easy to believe things that are not true and focus on things that do not really mater.
Private versus Secret
Private is when you decide not to disclose information about yourself in order to be safe. Privacy involves discretion and is active boundary setting. In the social media, minors should have “private” settings for friends only. And for minors, it is important that they do not expect privacy from parents, whose duty it is to ensure their safety. This is one of the top warnings of law enforcement. Granting kids privacy with devices.
A secret, on the other hand, is something that is determined cannot survive the light of day because it is not acceptable: i.e., exploitive, harmful or illegal. When a secret is kept there is usually risky behavior involved and it is a source of tremendous anxiety. Anything that is secret in the children’s online worlds is not okay. This is why transparency is one of the fundamentals for making cyber-safe house rules in your home.
Other topics for crucial conversations:
LET’S WORK TOGETHER
Events for Your Parent Community
Equipping parents to deal with the extreme influence of social media on young hearts and minds
Core Connectivity offers Fresh Start Family Culture training to help parents exercise control over the home, regulate use of technology and empower family members. To book an event at your office, school or church, contact Joanna (be sure to include your return email address) or 916-521-7203
Private Parenting and Family Life Coaching
Fresh Start Family – Two 90-minutes sessions with Joanna. Learn about the tools to give you control over the things you can control.
- Want to argue less and experience more peace in your family relationships?
- Wondering if your child is ready for his or her first smartphone?
- Is cyberbullying terrorizing your child/tween/teen?
- You suspect or have caught your teen using drugs and/or alcohol. Now what?
- Get your family to put down the devices and have face-to-face conversations
- Has internet porn invaded your home?
To learn more, contact Joanna (be sure to include your return email address) or 916-521-7203
Book an event for your educators, counseling practice or agency providing resources to youth and families. Topics include:
- How the sciences of addiction, recovery and faith inform effective prevention strategy
- A parent’s guide for dealing with mental and behavioral health issues
- Embracing “the addict” as an agent for positive change in the family
- Keeping tabs on your family’s social media hangouts
- Cyberbullying & radicalization of youth into violent ideologies
- Talking about drugs and drug abuse in social media
- Family-safe conversations about internet porn and sexting
When cyber connectivity hypes everything and inspires anxiety, what will you focus on?
This book offers specific, practical insights to build their own inner resilience for parents dealing with mental and behavioral health issues of tech-savvy youth.
Get your copy!
- Seven lessons on the impact of the network culture on youth, parenting and family life
- Four exercises to develop a renewed perspective on the challenges of modern life
- Three final products to regulate the use of technology and foster human connection at home: Family creed, family motto and a short set of house rules
- Keep medications out of the hands of youth: Check out: SaferLock
- Helpful thoughts about social media challenges by Common Sense Media
- iOS 12 parental controls – review by Common Sense Media
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About: We are a non-profit education center founded in Roseville, CA to strengthen the parent-child bond in a hyper-connected world. Our mission is to restore families with the mustard seed of faith that declares liberty already belongs to the soul because one God, the Creator of all humanity, grants every human being intelligence and free will to choose what to believe, and that is power that can never be taken, but is easily surrendered to the bully, the drug or the device.
Peace on earth begins with peace at home.
YOUR DONATION HELPS THIS CAUSE
Core Connectivity is an initiative of Banana Moments Foundation. When you shop at Amazon via AmazonSmile, Amazon will make a donation to Banana Moments Foundation.
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and consultant on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber-powered world. She is a former technology executive trained in behavioral science at U.C. Berkeley, a mother of two grown sons, and an author of books for practical guidance on parenting, growing up and family life in the network culture. As a family and technology culture advisor, Joanna has appeared on 103.9FM The Fish, 710AM Keeping Faith in America, 1380AM The Answer, and Examiner.com.
- Cyber Safety for Kids and Families (Videos)
- Follow CoreConnectivity on Instagram
- Follow Joanna @cyberparenting
- Like Core Connectivity
- Request Core Connectivity updates via email
- Follow @authoritytolove
- Contact: Joanna