During this COVID19 shelter-in-place response, the most important thing we can teach our youth is how to be aware, well-informed and unafraid.
Let me offer a real-life example. The other day while on a long walk with my husband, a young boy riding his bike was approaching us on the sidewalk. He was about 13 years old. Approximately 200 yards before we caught up to him, he stopped, pulled his bike over leaving as much distance as he could so we could walk past him unhindered. We made eye contact. We smiled. I thanked him and asked him to give his mom a big hug from me. “Sure thing,” he said as we continued walked past him.
That gesture by this young man made me feel so loved. And I am so grateful for all the moms and dads that teach their children how to care for and be respectful of one another.
The media doesn’t hype this truth about what is really going on in homes and neighborhoods across America. There are more people of good will who are not in the spotlight, and their presence is especially felt in this moment of crisis as there is a measure of peace and patience as we as a society learn how to respond to this pathogen. Thanks be to God.
Still, it is difficult to stay positive with so much uncertainty of a pandemic that puts life and health at risk. Worse than the virus is the anxiety and fear if we allow it to fester unchecked.
Check out this feature
Strategies to deal with anxiety and power struggles at home
- Three one-hour private sessions via Zoom.
- Set family goals customized to your current situation and family dynamics.
- Assess your values, house rules, expectations, beliefs, especially with respect to the impact devices have on family relations.
- Assess your own response to what is happening in the world and with your children.
- Receive practical, high-impact guidance on marshalling your family beliefs, values and establish norms to improve communication and address any behavior issues with confidence.
Who is this for?
- Parents who work from home as part of the shelter-in-place order. You can use this time to strengthen your role as a trusted resource for your tech-savvy child or teen, who is going to be spending more time online for classes and also to be social.
- Families dealing with endless and escalating power struggles over the amount of time on the device.
- Parents with children in treatment for addiction and recovery counseling. One of the greatest challenges is dealing with your own anxiety in response to your child’s plight. This program will help you gain a more positive and constructive perspective about your child’s condition, and nature of addiction and recovery as the part of the human condition, and the simple things you can do at home to create a culture of transparency and trust to support sobriety, recovery and foster resilience.
- To learn more and book your appointments, and/or
- To make a referral. (This service is private pay with a sliding scale.)
FROM CORE CONNECTIVITY PARTNERS & COLLABORATORS
Resilience: Taking back your power from stress
Special Myndzen Service (Complimentary):
There’s no doubt we’re currently challenged with a great deal of uncertainty and change; much of what’s happening is outside of our control. Her goal for this group is to become a refueling station in reminding us (and showing us how) it’s possible to not only get through this crisis without burning out, but further more to use it as a catalyst to build resilience and change our mind, brain and life for the better.
Video (4 minutes): The Myndzen connection between power and stress
If you would like to learn how to work with your mind to reduce your stress level effectively and participate in Tzeli’s online FREE online stress management coaching group, join her community by clicking on this link: http://bit.ly/JoinMyndZen
Class of 2020 – High School Seniors Support Group
Zoom Meeting with Recovery Happens, every Friday 1pm to 2pm. Go to www.zoom.com and enter ID: 4236595845
Contact: Amy Rose firstname.lastname@example.org
This support group is organized by the staff at Recovery Happens who understand intimately the struggles of today’s youth. In light of the pandemic isolation and loss of high school senior events such as proms, sports events, and graduation this group is organized to help students come together and share how they are impacted by the shelter in place order and encourage one another.
If you are a parent of a high school senior, consider this group as a very positive way for your teen to engage with others going through the same experience and find ways to make the best of this global event.
Young People’s Virtual 12-Step Support Group
From The Pathway Program
- Wednesdays @6:30PM
- Support for recovery while social distancing
- Mobile: Downoload “Blue Jeans” app and enter Meeting ID: 334-656-087
- Desktop: https://Bluejeans.com/334656087
- Technical support contact Kevin@thepathwayprogram.com
Core Connectivity Mission
Restore Parental Confidence, Inspire Resilience, and
Empower Families to Strengthen their Bond
In the media-centered network culture it is easy to believe things that are not true, and focus on things that do not really matter. This can curtail parental confidence and increase childhood anxiety and trauma. Help me get some basic tools and insights into the hands of parents so they can more effectively help their children establish their own internal guidance systems to be safe and secure and counter the cyber-powered stressors of growing up with mobile connectivity.
You can help this cause by:
- Making a donation to Banana Moments Foundation (non-profit parent of Core Connectivity)
- Sharing these links to the tips for setting personal boundaries and establishing cyber rites of passage.
- Tips to regulate the use of technology as a family (PDF Handout)
- How to build trust when you find these apps on your child’s phone
- Hot Topic: To vape or not to vape? Thoughts that make you a secure parent, how to handle vaping and more…
- On the need for spiritual and emotional intelligence in being a parent today (part two): The authority to love
- On the need for spiritual and emotional intelligence in being a parent today (part one)
- Hindsight 2020: Make this a year of creating a culture of connection at home
- How parents model resilience
- Five habits of anxiety-proof families in a cyber-powered world
- Parent screentime
- Crucial conversations about social media use: Brave versus risky
- Why devices are not to blame for the lack of connection with your child
- Conquer the fear of losing your child to screentime
- The purpose of stress in your child’s life and their happiness
Faith-based thought leadership:
Insights about the love of God in our humanity
Follow @authoritytolove on Facebook (thought for the day)
To receive my “thought for the day” via email, contact me, Joanna
Crucial Conversation Concepts
Guidance for conversations with youth in a cyber-powered world, wherein it is easy to believe things that are not true and focus on things that do not really mater.
Problems versus Predicaments
Some of the best lessons in parenting I gleaned from my experience as a business executive. During the Y2K transition (the new millennium date change from 1999 to 2000 was perceived as a major issue for computer systems), I managed a global support service operation for publishing systems and there was a resource challenge to conduct the Y2K support and routine maintenance. One of the most helpful concepts to lead global operations through this crisis I found in the book, Management of the Absurd, Paradoxes in Leadership, by Richard Farson, which advocated to business leaders that control is an illusion, and argued that managers too often try to exert control by solving problems when not everything is a problem to be solved.
Farson presented an important distinction between a problem and a predicament. A problem could be solved; a predicament required coping because there is not a solution possible. So with this understanding among the clients and staff we managed the Y2K situation as a temporary crisis – it was a predicament, not a problem; and everyone agreed to shift resources to Y2K as a coping mechanism through the transition into 2000. And yet, had we treated the Y2K resource constraint as a problem to be solved, we would have failed – there was no “solution” possible under those circumstances.
Let’s examine a more germane example for parents.
When my youngest was an infant, we had moved into a two-story home. Rather than set up gates to keep him from falling, I supervised, instructed and coached my infant son to crawl down the stairs on his stomach, feet first. He never experienced a spill down the stairs at our home or anywhere else for lack of skill and knowledge. Had I relied upon the gate as “the solution” to keep him safe, the chances of his having a serious accident were greater – that the gate would not be securely latched, or worse yet, he could have fallen downstairs somewhere else because there were no gates (we cannot baby proof every environment).
The worry of the baby falling down the stairs was a temporary situation that did not require him to walk; it did require him to use whatever means he could master to navigate stairs safely. While I am not advising parents to not use gates (there may be reasons why you need to use them), this example demonstrates that it is also important that your child is able to master safety for herself whenever possible, as early as possible. Especially in the network culture.
What is the difference between authoritarian (i.e., “I am in control of you”) and authoritative (i.e., “I am in charge of teaching you how to be in control of yourself”) parenting styles? How can your parenting style empower or discourage children to assume healthy responsibility for their own thoughts and actions on and off-line?
Other topics for crucial conversations:
LET’S WORK TOGETHER via teleconference
Events for Your Parent Community
Core Connectivity offers Fresh Start Family Culture training to help parents exercise control over the home, regulate use of technology and empower family members. To book an event at your office, school or church, contact Joanna (be sure to include your return email address) or 916-521-7203
Private Parenting and Family Life Coaching
- Want to argue less and experience more peace in your family relationships?
- Wondering if your child is ready for his or her first smartphone?
- Is cyberbullying terrorizing your child/tween/teen?
- You suspect or have caught your teen using drugs and/or alcohol. Now what?
- Get your family to put down the devices and have face-to-face conversations
- Has internet porn invaded your home?
To learn more, contact Joanna (be sure to include your return email address) or 916-521-7203
Book an event for your educators, counseling practice or agency providing resources to youth and families. Topics include:
- How the sciences of addiction, recovery and faith inform effective prevention strategy
- A parent’s guide for dealing with mental and behavioral health issues
- Embracing “the addict” as an agent for positive change in the family
- Keeping tabs on your family’s social media hangouts
- Cyberbullying & radicalization of youth into violent ideologies
- Talking about drugs and drug abuse in social media
- Family-safe conversations about internet porn and sexting
When cyber connectivity hypes everything and inspires anxiety, what will you focus on?
FIVE STEPS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR TECH_SAVVY KID
This book offers specific, practical insights to build their own inner resilience for parents dealing with mental and behavioral health issues of tech-savvy youth.
ORDER YOUR COPY HERE:
MAKE HOME THE PLACE TO BE HAPPY & WELL
- Seven lessons on the impact of the network culture on youth, parenting and family life
- Four exercises to develop a renewed perspective on the challenges of modern life
- Three final products to regulate the use of technology and foster human connection at home: Family creed, family motto and a short set of house rules
Keep medications out of the hands of youth: Check out: SaferLock
Helpful thoughts about social media challenges by Common Sense Media
iOS 12 parental controls – review by Common Sense Media
About: We are a non-profit education center founded in Roseville, CA to strengthen the parent-child bond in a hyper-connected world. Our mission is to restore families with the mustard seed of faith that declares liberty already belongs to the soul because one God, the Creator of all humanity, grants every human being intelligence and free will to choose what to believe, and that is power that can never be taken, but is easily surrendered to the bully, the drug or the device.
Peace on earth begins with peace at home.
YOUR DONATION HELPS THIS CAUSE
Core Connectivity is an initiative of Banana Moments Foundation. When you shop at Amazon via AmazonSmile, Amazon will make a donation to Banana Moments Foundation.
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and consultant on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber-powered world. She is a former technology executive trained in behavioral science at U.C. Berkeley, a mother of two grown sons, and an author of books for practical guidance on parenting, growing up and family life in the network culture. As a family and technology culture advisor, Joanna has appeared on 103.9FM The Fish, 710AM Keeping Faith in America, 1380AM The Answer, and Examiner.com.