Now more than ever it is so evident how little control we have over the course of our lives and livelihoods except for what we choose to think about it and how to respond. Amid this pandemic stress, what kind of mindset do you bring into your family experiences?
The difference between control and empowerment is such an important experience in learning how to respond to adversity because a crisis inspires emotion, and emotion challenges us to decide what do we want to believe about our capacity for resilience as individuals, families and as a community.
Truthfully, it does not always feel like we are all in this together. Everyone is having their own personal reaction to loss and change, and the human tendency is to jump to the conclusion that our grief is not equal and we can wind up judging one another for our emotional reactions when they are not congruent with our own thoughts and emotions about our circumstances. For examples:
- High school seniors may feel guilty about mourning the loss of senior events and graduation because many have lost loved ones to death or have lost income.
- Parents overwhelmed with new “teacher” responsibilities at home while dealing with their own work from home responsibilities to an employer, or who are struggling with unemployment.
- Youth who had incomes doing jobs in the neighborhoods, such as walking dogs or collecting recycling or even babysitting may feel they are denied help to recover their lost wages.
- Many folks have lost small businesses, entirely.
- Some people are even more isolated through shelter-in-place.
- Others are cut out from treatment for mental health and substance use disorders.
Indeed we tend to measure grief and loss from the things we see on the outside and discount the validity of every loss having a real and significant impact internally. Let us therefore, widen the pool of meaning in life to consider that every person is entitled to have their own reaction, and can be expected to treat one another with mutual respect and trust.
In order to facilitate a culture of peace and grace during times of high stress and anxiety, here are some good things parents can choose to do. Choosing to give precious attention to this list involves the sacrifice of prioritizing your role to set the tone, and denying your emotions telling you that you don’t have time.
Good things to do that bring about peace amid pandemic stress
- Make a list of the things you admire and appreciate about each child.
- Catch your kids doing things right and let them know.
- Create a family schedule and invite your children to define their own schedules to complete school assignments and help with household jobs.
- Initiate conversations about the things we know and need to discover about this crisis or circumstance. Verify the facts.
- Identify your greatest fears and also your greatest hopes. Then choose which one you want to give your mental energy.
- Make time to meditate and give your mental energy to your hopeful thoughts. In this way you can retrain your brain.
RESOURCES TO HELP DEAL WITH COVID STRESS
PARENTING CONFIDENCE COACH
The resilience you seek comes from within and is easily obscured. Everyone is vulnerable in this regard. If you are not sure how to get a handle on the experience of overwhelm so that you can begin to put some of these tips above into practice, contact Joanna to schedule an appointment to learn how the Core Connectivity method can restore your confidence and hit the reset button for your spirit, mind and soul. because we know that the resilience you seek comes from within. She will give you a complimentary warm up packet to get you started.
Core Connectivity Mission
Restore parent confidence, inspire resilience and empower families to strengthen their bond.
Core Connectivity is an initiative of Banana Moments Foundation. When you shop at Amazon via AmazonSmile, Amazon will make a donation to Banana Moments Foundation.
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and consultant on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber-powered world. She is a former technology executive trained in behavioral science at U.C. Berkeley, a mother of two grown sons, and an author of books for practical guidance on parenting, growing up and family life in the network culture. As a family and technology culture advisor, Joanna has appeared on 103.9FM The Fish, 710AM Keeping Faith in America, 1380AM The Answer, and Examiner.com.